Internal Crisis — External Solution
“Be happy with what you have, while working for what you want.” — Hellen Keller
You never know what’s going to happen to you each and every day. Life is beautiful yet chaotic, with surprises and twists sprinkled around every corner.
One of my goals is avoid becoming complacent on a daily basis. Complacency has been something I’ve tried to stay ahead of, however it always seems to peek its pesky head around whenever you are least expecting it.
One day you can have the opportunity of a life time, bountiful chances for growth in your personal and professional career with a clear sight as to what your “future life” could be like. Everything looks like it will be okay. It’s time to settle into a routine and get to work.
Then you get comfortable. Things start to get easy. Life begins to feel monotonous to the point where you don’t even realize you’re overlooking things previously taken for granted. For lack of a better term our internal determination gets soft like room temperature butter. That hunger for more fails to be tested and you end up getting figuratively or literally fat and lazy. The word settle makes me shutter. It embodies the lack of ambition and cements you into your current place.
Whenever things seem like they’re going too well, that’s when life is most likely to give you a reality check. The kick in the ass which brings you down from the cloud of self righteousness and ego-centric bliss and back into the reality that nothing is guaranteed. These sort of “snap back to reality” moments, as Eminem would say, can be a whisper in your ear or feel like a ton of bricks hitting you right in the chest. It’s up to our perception to figure out what to do with this intuition. Are we to ignore the signs returning to our status quo, or sinking our feet deeper into the wet concrete?
There has been a reoccurring theme come up questioning my purpose in this world. Why am I doing what I do every day? Do I serve a higher power, or am I just showing up to just chase a pay check to purchase more things? There seems to be a never ending loop when you’re present at work solely to collect your income: you save your money, pay off your debt, buy more things you don’t need, and then wait until you can do what you like at some distant time in the future. A valiant idea in theory, but what about the here and now? What happens when reality comes crashing down and an actual issue causes you to jump off the loop in a panic?
This sort of reality check has been something I’ve been dealing with in my personal and professional life. With the profession I’ve chosen as a civil engineer, there are a lot of new and exciting things I get to do on a daily basis. There are also just as much mundane activities associated with each roll. I guess it’s part of the job. The mundane were outweighing the excitement for a while, lulling me into a subdued state of consciousness. I hate to admit it, but complacency took hold of me and began to grip hold. That’s when a reality check hit me; I got injured at work and couldn’t perform my job.
When brought with whatever reality check comes your way it’s easy to start spiraling into the negative self talk and hopelessness of never getting back to the euphoric high previously sitting upon. These reality checks are what tests our character and shows how we are able to resolve conflict, no matter how big or small. I know this internal crisis was not going to bring me completely down.
My ego had been controlling daily thought patterns. This hasn’t been something I’ve easily admitted to myself, let alone anyone else. My reality needed to be checked. And I’m glad the check came at this point and with this level of minutia on my plate to begin. I can imagine people get reality checks like this all the time and sweep them under the rug as if nothing actually happened.
What I plan to do is simple in theory; start working on ways to improve the world around me and listen to my internal calling. As I am actively quelling these internal crisis with action, there likely will be more difficulties brought forth in the future. But I’m okay with that. Because it’s much easier to face a foe you can square up rather than one that dwells inside your head.
We are never certain what the future holds for any of us on any given day. Life could come crashing down a flight of stairs or be spring boarded you over the moon. All sorts of things are going to be dropped on our plate, and it’s our obligation to handle them the best we can. I cannot influence the cards I’m dealt, only how well I plan to play the hand. So here I am, in my full glory ready to evolve into my new self.
